Why Dating Apps Could Be Doing YourLove Life More Harm Than Good —Expert Explains
Swiping apps may be millennials’ preferred way to date, but speaking with an expert, HL learned sites like these could actually be hurting your shot at love! Find out why here.
First things first, when looking for your other half, it’s important to assess what you want in a partner in crime — sounds obvious, but it’s a step many people skip when logging into an app like Tinder. “I think it’s very helpful for that person to say, ‘Here’s what matters,’” Grant told HollywoodLife.comEXCLUSIVELY. “If he likes to go to bed early and you like to go to bed late, it doesn’t really matter — it can be annoying — but it doesn’t predict for a better relationship. Helping people understand those two differences is important.” That’s where dating apps can sometimes have a negative impact — they don’t know how to sort through the important qualities from the unimportant ones.
“I get a little scared sometimes when I see online dating apps and things of that nature that match people on what we call ‘fun stuff,'” Grant explained. “OkCupid is an example, although I’m not trying to say anything bad about them, but they match people on interests. He likes golf, you like golf! That stuff can make for fun dates, no doubt about it. But none of that stuff predicts for good relationships — it doesn’t MATTER.” Grant stressed that if you’re serious about finding a suitable partner, you have to look beyond initial attraction and similarities. “You have to think about what matters and what doesn’t matter,” he told us. “It doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to both like something, but I don’t want to pick somebody just for that reason.”
So what SHOULD we be looking for? Lucky for us, Grant has some insight. “What matters is stuff like conflict resolution — if you meet someone who’s synced up with you in that area, you guys are going to have a lot less fights, they’re going to be over quicker, you’ll resolve things easier. It’s one of the building block of a good relationship,” Grant said. “It’s important for people to understand THOSE things, and it’s also important for people to understand the things that don’t really matter — like where you like to go on vacation. That doesn’t matter.”
Another quality that can help determine if a relationship can stand the test of time is humor, which makes total sense. I mean, who doesn’t want a partner that makes them laugh? “Humor is number one or two on almost everybody’s list — we want someone who shares our same sense of humor. Life can be shitty, you know? It really can. And if you have a sense of humor, you just ride the waves a little bit easier,” Grant said.
And it turns out, there’s a reason for that! Women actually seek out partners with a sense of humor because, intentionally or not, they’re looking for someone who can handle not only life, but also children, with ease. “People that have a sense of humor and can laugh at their own troubles or failures, are people that can deal with little children and are patient and can laugh at big problems,” Grant said.
“When you think about a relationship, you’re kind of in a fox hole together. And you want to be with someone who has a sense of humor about troubles. So I think there’s something to that. We know it’s important but we don’t exactly know why it’s important. But that doesn’t surprise me at all that happy couples laugh together a lot.”
These findings were part of the results of a new study eHarmony conducted recently on the state of happiness in American relationships. The survey found that couples who are “perfectly happy,” are regularly apart from their partner for work or other reasons, but at the same time they enjoy participating in many activities together. These couples are also found to be optimistic, creative, confident, and sociable. On the other hand, “desperately unhappy,” duos, on average, do not make each other laugh, they have a lack of trust in one another, and they tend to not do things together as a couple.
“We’re going to do this study every year — we’re going to make it an annual thing — because that way we can see what happens over time and learn about trends,” Grant told us. One trend that was especially interesting this time around, and genuinely surprising, is that Millennial men are actually super into their relationships — bet you didn’t see that one coming! “I think that the fascinating thing about this research is that Millennial men seem to be pretty different than the rest. It’s not what we typically think about that group, but they’re really into relationships — they really want to communicate,” Grant said.
“We’ve been told that Millennial people are into their phones and they can’t talk, but what we see from this research is that when they’re in a committed relationship, they do step up, they do communicate, they do go to therapy more than the other groups. And that’s quite a different thing than what I had expected.”
Grant added, “Men in that group, they want to compromise. They still have the same problems everybody else does, in fact they typically fight more than other age groups, but they have a real willingness to work on it. So the question is: is that the result of youth? And will that change over time? That’s why we want to do this every year. If it doesn’t change, then it’ll be a real difference in the way relationships work — I think that’s fabulous.”
Tell us, HollywoodLifers — do YOU think most dating apps are effective?
Can’t Get Over Your Ex? The ScientificReason You’re Having A Hard TimeSaying Goodbye
We all know getting over a former love is no easy task, but did you know there’s scientific evidence behind why you feel so attached for so long? Get the expert scoop here!
Getting over an ex is the worst. If you’ve found yourself unable to stop thinking about your former SO, take some comfort in knowing that you’re definitely not alone. In fact, there’s some real science behind why it can seem impossibly hard to actually get over someone you’ve loved. Speaking with Sameera Sullivan, a professional relationship coach and CEO of Lasting Connections, we learned exactly what causes those feelings of intense attachment, and how you can eventually move on for good! Click here to see pics of celebs’ post-breakup makeovers.
“Losing someone because of a breakup does not feel, in many cases, dissimilar from actually losing someone. Grief is grief,” Sameera shared with us EXCLUSIVELY. “So, if you had a real connection to your ex, it’s totally reasonable that you’d continue to mourn the loss for every reason someone might miss someone who has passed away: they were your best friend, they understood you in a way no else does, they gave you a sense of confidence and security, they made you laugh, they were there for you, you had great chemistry, you regret how you acted with them, etc.” Because losing someone in general can be incredibly painful, first and foremost, it’s important to recognize that your feelings of sadness are totally normal. However, that doesn’t make the breakup hurt any less, which is where science comes into play believe it or not.
Especially if you’ve been sexually intimate with your former partner, it’s presumably going to be a lot harder to get over them in the long run. “We all know that in general, women are more emotionally charged than men, so we can probably assume that sex strengthens a bond for the average woman more so than it does for the average man,” Sameera explained. “There is one interesting study that showed high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the brains of ‘lovestruck’ couples. Dopamine, which can also be triggered by drugs like cocaine, triggers ‘desire and reward,’ producing an intense rush of pleasure. So, YES there’s a reason you’re becoming attached.” Crazy, right?
At the end of the day, it also comes down to your approach to the breakup. “An inability to get over someone is because you keep comparing your current situation to what it might have been like if your ex were there,” Sameera told us. “And, you keep determining that somehow it could be better. The truth is you’ll never know, and living in the past doesn’t help anyone move on.” We couldn’t agree more, but of course moving on is so much easier said than done.
Sameera’s tips? Concentrate on the destructive parts of the relationship, keep things in perspective, and, eventually, start exploring other dating options! “The only sure fire way I’ve seen to get over an ex is to find someone else, that is, undoubtedly better for you,” the expert revealed. “It is easier to get over someone, or at least to move on from someone, when there was a clear flaw in the person and/or relationship. So, if that applies to you, keep reminding yourself of this, revisit what it would be like to continue living in that flawed relationship, and chances are you’ll be able to talk yourself out of a walk down memory lane.”
The “old wives tale” is that it takes one week for every one month you were together to fully get over an ex, so while you wait for time to heal your wounds, don’t forget to give yourself some TLC! “First and foremost, take care of yourself,” Sameera advises. “Do what you need to in order to feel confident — work out, get your hair done, meet a friend for a nice dinner, go on a walk, whatever it is make sure it’s making you happy, even if just a little bit.”
The most important thing is to keep moving forward — even if you’re only taking it one day at a time! “Getting over an ex can be completely miserable,” Sameera said. “Acknowledge that, reflect on it, talk to your friends about it. And then, be strong, be productive, and choose to move on for you. You owe that to yourself.” Amen!
Tell us, HollywoodLifers — what do you think of Sameera’s advice? Does this help explain a lot?
Korede Bello recently performed at a concert at Uganda,his performance was energetic and lovely with massive love shown by his Ugandan fans, highlight of this event were funny faces by people who appeared on his photos.
The first trailer for ‘Captain Marvel’ has arrived, and it’s better than we ever could have imagined. Brie Larson debuted the trailer on the Sept. 18 edition of ‘GMA,’ and now we are SHOOK for the rest of the year.
When Blockbuster Video shows up in the first seconds of the Captain Marveltrailer, you know the movie is going to be epic. Brie Larson, 28, plays Carol Danvers, a.k.a. Captain Marvel, who is a U.S. Air Force fighter pilot turned member of Starforce, an intergalactic military team. She gains incredible powers after she’s infused with Kree DNA. Jude Law, 45, plays Mar-Vell, the commander of the Starforce team. Samuel L. Jackson, 69, appears as a much younger Nick Fury, who still has both eyes at this point. In case you didn’t realize already because of the appearance of Blockbuster (RIP), the movie is set in the 90s.
Captain Marvel is a huge deal for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She’s the first female Marvel superhero to headline her own solo movie. Her appearance in the MCU was teased at the end of Avengers: Infinity War. Thanos wiped out all of the human race with the snap of his fingers, and before Nick faded away, he activated a pager and sent a signal to Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel is set to be released March 8, 2019, just a few months before Avengers 4 will come out. Captain Marvel also stars Ben Mendelsohn, 49, Gemma Chan, 35, Lee Pace, 39, Djimon Hounsou, 54, Clark Glegg, 56, and Annette Bening, 60.
The character is very important to the MCU. “She is more powerful than any character we’ve introduced thus far,” Marvel Studios head Kevin Feigetold EW. “So that alone tells you that there’s a reason Nick hit that button at the end [of Infinity War], when he realized that they were up against something far bigger than they had ever been up against before. And having her on your side is hopefully going to change the balance of power in a way that they desperately need.”
A man has taken to Facebook to share a throwback picture of himself and the current governor of Enugu state, Mr. Ugwuanyi Ifeanyi, popularly known as 'Gburugburu'.
According to Anayo Nwosu who hails from Nnewi, Anambra state, the picture was taken many years ago during their postgraduate days.
Mr Anayo revealed that he was asked by the governor to join him in the picture as they didn’t know what the future had in store for them.
Sharing the throwback picture on Saturday, September 15th, Mr. Anayo wrote;
I NEVER KNEW THAT THIS GUY ON TIE, MY POSTGRADUATE MATE, WOULD GOVERN ENUGU STATE. HE IS THE INCUMBENT. I JUST STUMBLED ON THIS PICTURE. FUNNY ENOUGH, HE ASKED ME TO JOIN HIM IN THIS PICTURE. TOMORROW IS PREGNANT —
Knificent.blogspot.com
.Angelina Jolie’s 6 Sexiest Looks Since Brad Pitt Split
Angelina Jolie has worn some stunning outfits since her tumultuous split with Brad Pitt. Check out her hottest, latest looks right here!
Angelina Jolie recently stunned with a couple of amazing outfits in the last few days. Not only was she spotted going braless in a little black tank top and matching pants on Sep. 15, she stunned wearing a black spaghetti-strap top, tan wrap skirt, and light brown shawl at the 2018 Cambodia Town Film Festival on the same day. However, since her split with Brad Pitt, Angelina has worn scores of incredible outfits. Check out all of Angelina’s sexiest looks since her custody battle with Brad began in our gallery above!
Angelina feels that recent reports of her spoiling her kids as a tactic in her custody battle with Brad Pitt could not be further from the truth. “As far as them becoming spoiled brats, that’s not a realistic accusation or worry because Angelina works tirelessly to make them citizens of the world,” a source close to Angelina told HollywoodLife EXCLUSIVELY. “They’re all keenly aware of the struggles facing the less fortunate because they’ve seen it firsthand.”
On top of that, Angelina feels guilty about the toll the custody battle is taking on her kids. “Angelina’s kids are everything to her, their well-being is her top priority,” a source close to Jolie told us. “She loves them all dearly. Since the divorce, she has felt guilty about the trauma the kids are dealing with so she has doubled her efforts to make them happy. So yes, there have been lots of new clothes, trips to the toy shops and to amusement parks. But it’s got nothing to do with her trying to turn them against Brad, it’s all about making life a little brighter for them during a very hard time in all their lives.”
