Top Most 10 Common Reasons Couples Break-up And Divorce - Romance -

You know things are not going well for you and your spouse. Your partner did seem stern, aloof and resentful that last time you spoke to each other. Like always you expect them to come around, let go of the steam and become their normal self with time. Instead, one day, you come home to find their clothes missing from their cupboards and a piece of paper on the dinner table- a divorce notice.

Do you think this scenario could transpire into your life? It’s not uncommon that couples start to fight and make up…fight and make up, until one day they fall apart for good. Don’t neglect your relationship issues, you never know, your relationship could be treading towards rocky roads too!

What are the real reasons for divorce? Infidelity, lack of communication, financial troubles, sparing sessions of sex and intimacy are some of the reasons for divorce. Let’s look at the 10 most common reasons for divorce and hope that you can learn from the mistakes of others.

Top 10 Reasons for Divorce:
1. Infidelity
Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. This is one of the most common cause of divorce. The reasons why people cheat aren’t as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy. Infidelity often begins as a seemingly innocent friendship, says cheating expert Ruth Houston. “It starts as an emotional affair which later becomes a physical affair”.

2. Money
Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true. Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a marriage to the breaking point. “Money really touches everything. It impacts people’s lives,” said Emmet Burns, brand marketing director for SunTrust. Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples.

3. Lack of communication
Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, impacting all aspects of a marriage. On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Yelling at your spouse, not talking enough throughout the day, making nasty comments to express yourself are all unhealthy methods of communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. Practicing mindful communication, to change age-old marriage mistakes, can be hard but it’s well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.

4. Constant arguing
From bickering about chores to arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again often do so because they feel they’re not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution.

5. Weight gain
It may seem awfully superficial or unfair, but weight gain is a common reason for divorce. In some cases a significant amount of weight gain causes the other spouse to become less physically attracted while for others, weight gain takes a toll on their self-esteem, which trickles into issues with intimacy.

6. Unrealistic expectations
It’s easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations; expecting your spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be. These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure.

7. Lack of intimacy
Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses. This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and isn’t always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, then know that over time it can become the ground for divorce. Making your relationship intimate and special is the responsibility of both partners. Practice little acts of kindness, appreciation and enjoy physical intimacy as much as possible to sweeten your relationship.

8. Lack of equality

When one partner feels that they take on more responsibility in the marriage, it can alter their view of the other person and lead to resentment. Every couple must negotiate through their own and unique set of challenges, and find their own way of living together as two equals who enjoy a respectful, harmonious and joyful relationship.

9. Not being prepared for marriage
A surprising number of couples of all ages have blamed not being prepared for married life for the demise of their relationship. Divorce rates are highest among couples in their 20s. Almost half the divorces occur in the first 10 years of marriage, especially between the fourth and eighth anniversary.

10. Abuse
Physical or emotional abuse is a sad reality for some couples. It doesn’t always stem from the abuser being a “bad” person; deep emotional issues are usually to blame. Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse and be removing yourself from the relationship safely is important.

No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in courtrooms. That’s why it’s important to address issues in your relationship early on. Don’t wait until they are beyond fixing. Practice kindness, make intimacy a priority, go on holidays and seek marriage counseling (even when things are fine) to preserve the health and longevity of your relationship. Try your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control and it is time to give up. That way you can have the peace of knowing you tried all of the alternatives before the big step.

SOURCE: http://bigcrown.com.ng/top-most-10-common-reasons-for-break-ups-and-divorce/

Ogun Prophet Beheads Lover After Sex, Buries Body In Church Premises (Graphic) - Crime -

Two Nigerian prophets have been arrested for beheading a woman for ritual purposes and burying her body in the church premises

The suspects, Olusola Akindele, 42, and Ayodele Bamiduro, 42, of the Lion of Judah Church of Christ, 13, Robiyan Avenue, Robiyan, near Ijoko, were arrested by men of the Ogun State Police Command following an investigation after the woman's remains was found.

According to Crimepuzzle, the victim a 40-year-old woman identified as Iya Aanu, had on July 30, 2018, visited Olusola, who she had been dating for two years, in his Assess Road residence at Mosefejo.

They had sex and as the woman was relaxing afterwards, her lover smashed her head with a heavy piece of wood and dragged her to a room within the apartment. She struggled but eventually lost the battle.

After she gave up the struggle, Olusola dragged her lifeless body to the bathroom and severed her head and hands, and later dumped her remains in an uncompleted building behind his residence.

He then took the severed head and hands to his accomplice's church, the Lion of Judah Church of Christ on 13, Robiyan Avenue, where he buried the body parts.

Disclosing how the suspects were arrested, CP Iliyasu said a complaint was lodged at the Agbado Police Divisional Headquarters by the Baale of Igbore Robiyan.

The Baale informed the police that a headless, decomposing body of a woman was found in an uncompleted building within the community.

Upon receiving the report, the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) in charge of Agbado, CSP Olatunji Omonijo, was asked to investigate and unravel the mystery behind the killing. Investigation led them to the suspects who have reportedly confessed to the crime. The CP narrated;

<blockquote>On interrogation, Olusola Akindele, who claimed to be a prophet in a church, confessed that the victim was his woman friend, who he simply identified as Iya Aanu. He stated further that they had been dating and hibernating for two years.

On the fateful day, the deceased came to visit him, as usual, and after they made love, and the woman was relaxing, the so-called prophet surreptitiously brought out a very big clog that looked like a pestle with which he smashed the woman's head.</blockquote>

The CP advised the public to be careful whom they associate with and always notify at least one person about their whereabouts when leaving the house to ensure their security and safety.

See more photos below;

Source: https://lailasnews.com/photos-prophet-arrested-for-beheading-lover-for-ritual/

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More Senators Threaten To Dump APC Because Of Direct Primaries - Politics

By Kemi Busari


Some senators are threatening to leave the ruling All Progressives Congress should the party fail to adopt direct primaries for the 2019 elections, PREMIUM TIMES has learnt.

Some of the lawmakers who spoke with PREMIUM TIMES warned that the party will experience mass defection if it fails to adopt the direct primaries.

They alleged that some governors are applying pressure on the national leadership of the party to adopt indirect primaries to choose candidates for the 2019 elections.

If the party adopts the usual indirect primary, the senators said, the party will lose its majority status at the Senate. For them, the only way to reclaim leadership of the senate is an assurance of direct primaries by the party.

Direct primaries involves the participation of all party members in the selection of party candidates while indirect primaries involves use of delegates, often party leaders at local levels and political appointees as well as elected officials, to elect party candidates.

The APC used the direct primaries to elect its governorship candidate in Osun for next month’s governorship election. Prior to that, it often used the indirect primaries system.

The ruling party will on Thursday hold its first National Executive Committee (NEC) meeting since Senate President Bukola Saraki left the party.

The meeting is expected to deliberate on the party’s preparation for the 2019 elections especially its primaries.

APC NEC, the second highest organ of the ruling party, comprises the president, vice president, governors elected under the platform of the party as well as chairpersons of the party in the 36 states.


DIRECT OR INDIRECT PRIMARIES

Controversy over the choice of primaries for the party started in July when the chairman, Adams Oshiomhole, declared the party will adopt direct primary method in Osun State in choosing a candidate ahead of the state’s governorship election.

Mr Oshiomhole said the method remains the “most democratic way of handling the primary.”

The party went ahead employing the method to choose its candidate, Gboyega Oyetola, but the process did not go down well with some of the aspirants.

Prominent among the voices against the method was the Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, Lasun Yusuf, who was runner up in the primary.

“I did not accept the outcome of the primary election. Why would I accept that kind of primary, where a direct primary was conducted in my state, one week after another form of primary was conducted in another state.

“And I hope the chairman will wake up. That chairman is going to destroy that party. The chairman of that party is going to destroy it,” the lawmaker said.

However, many lawmakers, especially those who fell out with their governors in the last state congresses, wants the party to adopt direct primaries to choose candidates for the 2019 election.


MASS DEFECTION AWAITS – LAWMAKERS

Three senators who spoke with PREMIUM TIMES expressed fears over the possibility of deploying indirect primaries for the APC primaries.

They alleged that some governors are laying pressure on the party leadership to deploy indirect primaries in order to replace them come 2019.

One of the lawmakers who spoke on condition of anonymity said the party should brace itself for mass defection if the NEC resolves to adopt indirect primaries.

“I am aware the National Chairman and members of the NWC are under pressure from state governors to adopt indirect primaries. Most of us suffered injustice during the Congress. Till this moment, the leadership is yet to resolve the issues. We will not tolerate injustice again.

“For me, the next NEC meeting is a make or mar meeting for our party. The APC has assured us of justice through direct primaries. If the party bows to governors, we will have no option than to leave the party. It will be mass exodus,” the senator said.

In July, 14 APC senators left the party with at least 12 joining the major opposition, PDP.

Few weeks after their defection, the Senate President, Bukola Saraki, also announced his defection to PDP.

Following his announcement, some senators and leaders of the APC have continued to mount pressure on Mr Saraki to relinquish his position since his party does not have majority at the senate.

Another senator who prefers not to be named said the party will lose its majority status at the Senate if the governors have their way.

The senator said the governors are ready to replace up to 90 per cent of the federal lawmakers if the party allows delegates to choose candidates for the party.

“With the war that exist between the party and Saraki, the party has confidentially resolved to return the senators because it is dangerous to come back on 25th when some people don’t have assurances.

“The governors have their individual agenda because the people whom they want cannot win election by direct primaries. If you cannot win by direct primary, it means that you are unpopular and the party cannot bring people who cannot win election.

“The party will be heading into trouble because it will be the Senate Presidency that will be at stake at the National Assembly. 

The point is that if you have an indirect primary election, the governors will replace up to 90 per cent of existing federal legislatures. Now, that will be playing into the hands of the PDP,” the lawmaker said.
The senator said the party risks losing at least 20 senators if it tolls the line of indirect primary.

“The moment the Senate resumes, the conflicting figure we have now is that PDP are saying they are the majority, APC are saying they are the majority, what do you take for consideration? We have up 20, 30 APC senators without a ticket and they have nothing to lose (if they leave the party).

“Let us get there first, because we were kept in the party on the promise that it is going to be a direct primaries. If the party says Saraki must go, who is going to remove Saraki, is it the governors? We are in a tango. The governors must concede, they must keep their heads down.

“We’ll see what happens but I can tell you that the Saraki group are waiting for those eliminated in the APC to join them.”

Another senator, Shehu Sani, expressed his dislike for indirect primary in a statement sent to PREMIUM TIMES on Wednesday.

“Indirect Primaries is a boulevard to corruption. It’s a seed to imposition, manipulation and systematic desecration of the anti-corruption crusade of the government and the party.

“Indirect Primaries is a bidding process, a slave market and an auction house where price tag is placed to honour,” he noted.

Urging all members of the party to reject the method, Mr Sani described it as a “final step to consolidate a fraudulent congresses.”


APC At Liberty To Choose – Ambode

The Lagos State Governor, Akinwumi Ambode, has said that the party is at liberty to employ either direct or indirect primary in choosing its candidates.

He said this while responding to questions from journalists after an APC caucus meeting on Wednesday.

“The fact remains that the constitution of our party allows us to carry out our primaries and elections using direct or indirect primaries.

“We cannot disagree with the constitution so either direct or indirect primaries, you are at liberty to justify the choice you want to pick, once it suits your purpose and in line with constitution as the state determines.

“The whole essence is for us to deepen democracy and also allow our members to participate in this whole process. The idea is once you have party members that are able to take decisions on who should represent them, I think we would have gone a step higher and better than other parties, that makes us a better party,” he said.


DECISION WILL BE MADE THURSDAY – APC

When contacted, the Acting National Publicity Secretary of the party, Yekini Nabena, said the party will take a position on the issue on Thursday.

“We’ll know the position of the party after tomorrow’s NEC meeting. The party has already made a proposal, it’s going to be either direct or indirect primary,” he said.

Court Forces Man To Accept Baby That Wife Agrees Belongs To Someone Else - Family

POSTSA Kaduna Sharia Court sitting at Magajin Gari on Wednesday ruled that one Ibrahim Musa was the father of a four -month- old baby girl delivered by his wife , Aisha Buhari .

The News Agency of Nigeria reports that Aisha had, on July 2 , dragged her husband before the court following his refusal to accept paternity of the baby she delivered .

The Judge , Malam Dahiru Lawal , after listening to both parties and their witnesses , said that under Islamic law , Musa could not now deny paternity of the baby after knowledge of his wife ’ s pregnancy two weeks after their marriage .

“In Islam , when one suspects his wife of infidelity and is in doubt of the legitimacy of her pregnancy , he must raise alarm and inform his (own ) guardian and that of his wife immediately.

“ But when a man continues having marital affairs with his wife even after the knowledge of the pregnancy , without showing contempt , then it means he has accepted the pregnancy .

“ That means he is the father to the child and would take full responsibility for the child , ” the judge ruled .

NAN recalled that the respondent , who was represented by a lawyer , was asked to present himself to the court on July 16 .

Musa, during hearing of the case , had told the court that he denied paternity of the baby because she was given birth to five months after their marriage .

However , Aisha told the court that Musa knew of her pregnancy two weeks after their marriage and didn’ t show any sign of grief on the matter until the time she gave birth .

“ We continued enjoying our marriage even after the result of my pregnancy was revealed , ’’ she said .

After Planning Our Wedding For 3 Years,they Say I Am Not Wife Material - Romance -

Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID.

I am very hurt. My wedding was supposed to take place last Saturday but it was called off without any explanation.

I met my man through my mother’s friend based aboard three years ago. We had our marriage introduction 2016 and we planned the wedding for April 2017 but sister was like we should postpone it reason is that for the brother to come down to Nigeria that the UK embassy don’t take absent of a spouse because they wanted to do it in his absent.

He begged me to wait that I should please bear with him it was not easy for me because already I have told people about my wedding and the date.

My ex has four sisters and they are kind of very close so involved them in everything he wants to do which I don’t have problem with that.His mum accepted me and me I love her took care of her like my mother even the sister who is out of marriage is staying with her mum with four children I love her too.

Fast forward to when the date was pick which is 25 of August that we started having issues.

It was his sisters that shopped for my wedding things which I complain that I don’t like the color ,they said the list I gave them was too expensive which is the hall and food ,I got a hall of #160 they got a hall of #300k near their house not even the bride side I never complain ,they said after the wedding I will stay with mother in law and sister which I said no due to distance and the nature of my work.

The worst of all that happened is that my ex was telling his sisters every thing we discussed both the argument and my chat he was forwarding it to them. His sister in Nigeria was telling them all manners of lies against me and they believed her.

They put pressure and fear on him not to marry me he has to call off the wedding after buying things for the wedding. He is around in Nigeria now and I try to see him but his family are refusing me seeing him because I don’t have his Nigeria ‘s no.

I was told that he said he love me but he scared based on what they told him. That I am not a wife material. That I will control him and drive him out because he stays in US.

My mother has been begging them but they refuse to listen.
He even blocked me since then. His cousin told me they already found another girl for him.

What do I do,I dated this guy for three years. I love him. I already have done introduction. Everybody knows I am supposed to be getting married. The scandal is killing my parents.If this guy still loves me,how do I win him back? He never gave a chance to explain myself. What did I do wrong?

Or should I really move on? After three years? Where do I start from?



https://livelystones.com.ng/after-planning-our-wedding-for-3-yearsthey-say-i-am-not-wife-material/

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List Of Nigerians That Want To Be President In 2019 - Politics

POSTS

Popular social affairs commentator, Charles Ideho has listed the names of Nigerians that have declared interest in becoming president in 2019. See the list next:

LIST OF THOSE WHO WANT TO BE NIGERIA’S NEXT PRESIDENT

1. Kingsley Moghalu

2. Sule Lamido

3. Donald Duke

4. Kabiru Tanimu Turaki

5. Ahmed Mohammed Makarfi

6. Ibrahim Dankwambo

7. Muhammadu Buhari

8. Fela Durotoye

9. Funmilayo Adesanya-Davies

10. Remi Sonaiya

11. Thomas-Wilson Ikubese

12. Omoyele Sowore

13. Enyinnaya Nnaemeka Nwosu

14. Ahmed Buhari

15. Adesanya Fegbenro-Bryon

16. Charles Udeogaranya

17. Mathias Tsado

18. Eniola Ojajuni

19. Olu James Omosule

20. Tope Fasua- Anrp

21. Elishama Rosemary Ideh

23. Usman Ibrahim Alhaji

24. Datti Baba Ahmed

25. Adamu Garba

26. Chris Emejuru

27. Oluwaseyitan Lawrence Aletile

28. Omike Chikeluba Lewis

29. Ibrahim Ladaja

30. Omololu Omotosho

31. Fidelis Akhalomen Lawrence Ekoh

32. Alhaji Atiku Abubakar

33. Ibrahim Shekarau

34. Professor Iyorwuese Hagher

35. Chike Ukaegbu

36. Attahiru Bafarawa

37. Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso

38. Alhaji Ibrahim Eyitayo Dan Musa

39. Gbenga Olawepo

40. Mr Festus Obeghe

41. Dr Yunusa Tanko

42. Mrs Eunice Atuejide

Watch out for more… Nigeria no dey carry last. Which of them do you support?


source: See List of Nigerians that Want to Be President in 2019

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Emmy Kasbit Designed Theresa May’s Jacket She Wore In Nigeria - Politics -

Theresa May, the British Prime Minister stormed Nigeria on Wedneday wearing a designer jacket from the stable of Emmy Kasbit, a Nigerian designer.

Information on the website of the designer indicated that Emmy Kasbit was launched in January 2014 by its creative head, Emmanuel Okoro.

The fashion house said brand was birthed out of its passion to clothe the unconventional man and woman who likes to think outside the box and who are willing to defend their outfit as being deliberate and not accidental.

“With its design aesthetic being clean and architectural cuts, Emmy Kasbit paints the picture of a fashion-embraced man and woman who build their outfit to fit into the environment which in turn fits in!,” the company said.

http://www.metronaija.ng/unveiled-the-nigerian-designer-who-made-theresa-mays-beautiful-jacket/

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Guys, What's The First Thing You Check Before You Approach A Lady? - Romance

While this is more or less like a counter thread to the earlier
Ladies, What's The First Thing You Check When A Guy Approaches You?(Guys Listen)

It is only right if Ladies get to know what Guys look out in them, before they approach to woo them. 

Guys over to you. What are those physical qualities you see in a lady that makes you to approach her?