This topic has been controversial from time immemorial.
Here is my take on the matter. Feel free to express your opinions.
Based on my life experiences, I got to know that most ‘just friends’ friendship between opposite sex end up as a smoke screen. Below are what I observed.
1. Most guys will pretend to be ‘just friends’ with girls that turned down their sexual advance. They do this to stay connected with the lady in case opportunity will resurface again. They are like lions laying in waiting, hiding, monitoring a stubborn antelope. Some of them are masters of this pretence that the lady will not suspect anything. This lady will trust them to the extent of even sleeping in their houses.
At the end, these girls fall victim of forceful sexual intercourse, sex under influence of chemical/alcohol or emotional trauma.
E.g, A lady I approached sometimes ago, turned me down. We agreed to be ‘just friends’. One day, she had a disagreement with his guy to the extent of physical assault. She cried to my house. As we were talking through the night, one thing led to another, we had sex.
This is one major reason when my girlfriend tells me a guy is her best friend, I frown at it. In fact I can end that relationship because of it.
2. My uncle’s wife had a man friend ‘just friend’, which nearly rattled his marriage. She is always on phone with this man. They even go out to have dinner together. Even I was pissed off personally but could not express my opinion in someone else’s marriage. She was always playing the jealousy card. My uncle is jealous blahblah. The matter later came to an end when her parents called her to order. They told her that when a woman is married, the only best friend she should have is her husband. Her best friends before getting married should maintain distance if they are responsible except they are nurturing bad intentions too.
3. Young girls these days have mastered the art of queuing up guys. When they are in serious relationship, they friend-zones their toasters and keep communicating with them. When they have little disagreement in their serious relationships, they upgrade the next guy in the friend-zone to bed mate. They don’t make effort to make their failing relationship work because they know they have a queue of guys on their whatsap.
What they don’t realize is that these guys also moved on to the next girl when she turned them down the first time. So when the girl resurface again, they accept her as a bonus “extra p*ssy”. When the relationship breaks down again, they go on social media and rant on how men are dogs, men are liars, men cannot be trusted, they prefer to stay single. Anyways, this is out of scope for this discussion.
4. I had a girlfriend in the past, she made me realize we are not dating because she had a serious relationship. But we played one day and mistakenly had sex. And after that we had sex multiple times. And she keeps ringing it in my ear that we are not dating. She even introduced me to her man as her best friend ‘just friends’
In conclusion, I am not saying being friends with opposite sex is bad, but distance should be maintain if no-dating clause is there. Maintain minimum visits and contacts. Some guys will says “I can’t be taking you out to eateries, spending on you without getting anything back”. So girls, watch your back, nothing is free in freeland.
Here is my take on the matter. Feel free to express your opinions.
Based on my life experiences, I got to know that most ‘just friends’ friendship between opposite sex end up as a smoke screen. Below are what I observed.
1. Most guys will pretend to be ‘just friends’ with girls that turned down their sexual advance. They do this to stay connected with the lady in case opportunity will resurface again. They are like lions laying in waiting, hiding, monitoring a stubborn antelope. Some of them are masters of this pretence that the lady will not suspect anything. This lady will trust them to the extent of even sleeping in their houses.
At the end, these girls fall victim of forceful sexual intercourse, sex under influence of chemical/alcohol or emotional trauma.
E.g, A lady I approached sometimes ago, turned me down. We agreed to be ‘just friends’. One day, she had a disagreement with his guy to the extent of physical assault. She cried to my house. As we were talking through the night, one thing led to another, we had sex.
This is one major reason when my girlfriend tells me a guy is her best friend, I frown at it. In fact I can end that relationship because of it.
2. My uncle’s wife had a man friend ‘just friend’, which nearly rattled his marriage. She is always on phone with this man. They even go out to have dinner together. Even I was pissed off personally but could not express my opinion in someone else’s marriage. She was always playing the jealousy card. My uncle is jealous blahblah. The matter later came to an end when her parents called her to order. They told her that when a woman is married, the only best friend she should have is her husband. Her best friends before getting married should maintain distance if they are responsible except they are nurturing bad intentions too.
3. Young girls these days have mastered the art of queuing up guys. When they are in serious relationship, they friend-zones their toasters and keep communicating with them. When they have little disagreement in their serious relationships, they upgrade the next guy in the friend-zone to bed mate. They don’t make effort to make their failing relationship work because they know they have a queue of guys on their whatsap.
What they don’t realize is that these guys also moved on to the next girl when she turned them down the first time. So when the girl resurface again, they accept her as a bonus “extra p*ssy”. When the relationship breaks down again, they go on social media and rant on how men are dogs, men are liars, men cannot be trusted, they prefer to stay single. Anyways, this is out of scope for this discussion.
4. I had a girlfriend in the past, she made me realize we are not dating because she had a serious relationship. But we played one day and mistakenly had sex. And after that we had sex multiple times. And she keeps ringing it in my ear that we are not dating. She even introduced me to her man as her best friend ‘just friends’
In conclusion, I am not saying being friends with opposite sex is bad, but distance should be maintain if no-dating clause is there. Maintain minimum visits and contacts. Some guys will says “I can’t be taking you out to eateries, spending on you without getting anything back”. So girls, watch your back, nothing is free in freeland.
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